In 2017, I’m dubbing the Friend Zone as “The Sunken Place”.
Sometimes what’s irritating to the opposite sex is not easily communicated. One example is the common complaint that I and my sisters have about men who approach us. Guys, I want to help you out because I care and want you to succeed in healthy relationships. In light of the hit thriller out right now, Get Out, I wanted to revive this blog post from the BLISS vault.
A lot of seemingly good guys are out here sinking into the abyss that is “The Friend Zone.” I’m going to call it the “Sunken Place” based off of the movie’s concept of being in a place of paralysis where it seems impossible to escape.
It’s important for us ladies to share with our brothers and potential suitors how to treat us. Brothers, it’s not always the lady’s fault that you were put in the “friendzone,” it just might be you. The friendzone is an undesirable place to be when one or the other party wants to create something beyond friendship.
In order to get better results in your love life, you need to be willing to make changes in thought, belief and behavior. Take notes on these common turn-offs to women that are common behaviors that men do that put them in the friendzone Sunken Place:
- Basic text messaging, lack of quality conversation
- No respect for/challenging the woman’s boundaries
- Being vague about your interest and purpose for communicating with the woman
- Acting too comfortable with a woman who you don’t know yet
- Demanding or making vague statements instead of establishing and confirming plans/dates
- Asking/low-key ordering a woman to send you a picture over the phone
- Showing yourself to be immature in approaching a woman initially
- Wanting to “be friends” only after getting denied by the woman
- Not having a real, submitted relationship with Jesus
- Not having enough confidence in yourself or being overly defensive
If you feel any of these scenarios don’t apply to you yet you still get left in the friendzone, it may be time to evaluate your so-called friendships. Brothers and sisters in Christ can help each other do better without the need for romantic interest.
Fellas, are those women you call your friends honest with you and encourage you to be men of God? Do they hold you accountable of respecting them in your conversations and activities? What is the purposed for your friendship with this woman or these women?
Someone who is a friend will be honest with you about you and your relationship. A friend loves at all times, so if you want a friend, act like a friend—romantic interest or not. This includes: go out in groups, don’t stay on the phone or social media for hours, keep and respect boundaries.
Plus, trust the Lord to reveal to you the purpose of this relationship. He might be saving you trouble down the road or introducing a new route on your journey to destiny. Either way rely on God and not your friends or emotions: they will mess you up! We all really need to do better, but we won’t be able to until we know; #StayWoke
What do you think of this list of don’ts that guys do? Be honest! Share your thoughts below:
