The holiday season kicks off this week with Thanksgiving, Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Year’s. This time of year can bring some hesitation for singles because some of us desire to be in a relationship, but just aren’t there yet.
As a friend and a relative of single people and as a fellow single myself, I can say that there are questions about our relationship status that we simply do not want to answer. We understand that some of y’all mean well, but a lot of y’all don’t understand our plight we go through throughout the year. As freeing and fun singleness can be, it is just as challenging to us in areas that God is still developing and strengthening us in.
So instead of creating tension or awkward small talk asking questions about our relationship status or lack thereof, here are some questions that you can ask us during the holiday get-togethers, parties, coffee shop visits, that actually bring about conversation that will excite us and possibly encourage us.
Are you happy?
This question dives a little deeper beyond the “how are you?” question that we get in the habit of saying of politeness. Asking someone you know well enough this kind of question allows them to open up, hopefully, and share with you what makes them happy right now. To assume that singles are not happy is a gross misconception that needs to stop. We don’t need another human being to make us happy, we are learning to embrace our own happiness.
So hopefully this person will share with you a personal victory, their favorite TV show, a good book they’re reading, you know…anything other than the bae topics.
How’s your purpose journey?
I wished this was a question family asked me in my college years instead of about when am I getting a job. Acquiring a job is inevitable, but what about my personal purpose? Sometimes unmarried folks don’t know their purpose and get discouraged because all they hear are questions about some proposed timeline for their life. Maybe this season is not their season for marriage, but exploring and walking in our purpose is for multiple seasons.
Where are you and your relationship with God?
If you are more mature in your spiritual walk than the person you’re talking to, you can minister to them simply by asking that question and listening to their response.
What are your goals are for 2018?
You can always ask where we’d like to travel to and other personal goals we are looking to achieve. Ask how they are going to implement the plans to achieve their goals and see if you can be an accountability partner for one or more of them. From health to finances, we are all looking to get better, so sharing those goals with someone who genuinely asks reminds us to keep pursuing these personal goals.
How can I help you?
This is probably my favorite question on this list. Hopefully you have resources, assistance, friends, connections that can help your single friend or family member achieve their goals and dreams. You could be the catalyst to change in their life, so don’t be afraid to give when you are available to, #thatsBible (Proverbs 3:27).
Bonus question: Do you want to take home a plate?
Yes. Always ask this.
This season don’t overlook us unmarried or single-single folks; ask us some real questions and build that relationship so when the bae does come we can talk to you about them without having any hesitations because you were genuinely concerned about us as an individual first.
What other questions would you want to hear from others?
Psst! Have you seen our 2017 Holiday Gift Guide? Click below to view: