Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles
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Marriage Prep

Pray for bae: pray for their submitted heart

This week’s prayer focus is for your future spouse’s heart in regards to submission.

Whether you are a man praying for your future wife or you’re praying for your future husband ladies, make sure that you cover them in the area of submission and what that looks like in their hearts.

Have you ever had an issue with the term submission, even in the Biblical perspective?  It has gotten a bad reputation but there is truly beauty and power in submission. Here’s a post by John Piper on what submission is not, for more help. What we as singles need to understand in our season of preparation for marriage, whenever that is for you, that we get a healthy understanding and even examples of godly submission in marriage.

To be submitted is not to be a naive doormat. I think a lot of people get this issue of submission misconstrued and that’s what keeps them in a place of fear and feeling like they’ll lose a sense of themselves in marriage. Submission is more about humbly yielding to your spouse’s leadership. With this in mind, please don’t marry somebody you don’t want to follow, you don’t respect, don’t want to honor or whose heart is not willing to submit to someone in high authority, that’s wiser than them, and that can guide them. Above all else don’t marry someone who’s not willing to submit to the Lord.

Submission is not always on big decisions like buying a house. It can be in simple things like taking directions, doing things around the home, etc. It’s a heart issue more than actions.

You can “submit” on the outside and still have a rebellious and resentful heart. God sees that and after a while your spouse will pick up on it too.

If you have problems with submitting to authority (leadership at church, parents, boss) then ask God to reveal to you what’s going on in your heart. A lot of times it could be remnants of the orphan spirit which is what I discovered while reading our book of the month. We need to understand that submission is not about us and our little egos. You’re submitting because you respect that person in their leadership and having the wisdom to let them make the decision because you trust the God in them. You trust that your future spouse is following the leading of the Holy Spirit.

“This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.” 1 Peter 3:5-6 NLT

And again they’re going to make mistakes so you have to give them grace in that area and not be so quick to say “I told you so” or “you should have listened to me” and just belittle them because that’s not what God does to us when we mess up.

I had issues with submission because I had trust issues stemming from my parents’ divorce and not having the proper understanding of submission as I’m learning now. As you mature you start to learn the root causes of your issues you had and that they don’t have to go with you for the rest of your life. You have to get delivered from those things, forgive, and let go so you can truly accept what God has for you in the form of relationships that He puts in your path.

I had the opportunity to submit to several people in my life and although it can be hard sometimes because my pride would get in the way. I’d think I know that to do or where to go when I needed to just not say anything and do what I was asked to do. You know what? It pays off in the end and I have more peace because I’m not striving to be ahead of somebody else or be right all of the time.

You have to let God lead you and give you peace as He directs you in regards to who you submit to who you are letting the people be authority over your life.

So when it comes to your future spouse, let’s make the right decisions and ask the right questions in the dating and courting process. Let’s see how they respond to leadership in their lives, how they respond to their parents, do they respect authority, do they show of an obedient spirit, do they have a submitted heart? These are things you need to look out for before you commit to a long-term relationship and especially in marriage. Here are some additional scriptures to help you in your prayers for your future spouse in the submission in their hearts:

  • Pray that your future spouses’ love endures even when their flesh doesn’t want to submit
    (1 Corinthians 13:7)
  • Pray that your life will witness to your spouse in your devotion to God (1 Peter 3:1-2, 5)
  • Pray that your spouse will honor and respect you in your marriage
    (1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:33)
  • Pray that God’s divine purpose of submission be executed in your marriage
    (Ephesians 5: 21-27)
  • Pray that your spouse continues to walk in their own humble, submitted relationship with God (Micah 6:8 AMP)

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