Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles
Singleness & Dating

The thin line between love and lust

This post is part of the Thin Lines series.

Often times we can get lust confused for love. It’s all over the media, with the scenes and lyrics using the label “love,” but the supporting evidence shows anything but. In today’s culture love is always often implying that sex is involved.

You know what that does to singles in the Body of Christ? We start to believe that we are weird for abstaining from sex ‘til marriage or we have to have sex with our partner to keep them around or to marry us. But when we look at it in God’s perspective, love doesn’t include sex before marriage.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,  not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.  For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.  Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

There’s a thin line between lust and love because of society. God makes it very clear what love really is, but the devil made it his mission to pervert God’s plan for what love looks like.

Here’s a helpful hint on how to identify lust or love: lust is often driven by emotion, whereas love is an action. When you’re in the moment of kissing your date or significant other and things are getting heavy, lust will want to go further but love says don’t. Why?

God’s version of love protects and guards purity in dating and courtship. The lust version of love is so enamored by the moment that you get carried away by feelings ’til it’s too late. Been there, done that, so I get how easy this is to happen!

God's version of love protects and guards purity in dating and courtship. Click To Tweet

The Bible tells us that lust is not something to entertain because it does not come from God (1 John 2:15-16). The lust of the flesh is not easily satisfied, it always wants more. It takes you places you didn’t intend to go. You’re not in control anymore, the flesh is and that’s where we get caught up.

And often times it’s all about what that person wants to get and take for themselves. But love, God’s love anyway, is about selflessly serving and giving. It’s patient, kind and considerate. It’s the kind of love you want in a relationship. This kind of love doesn’t bring the heaviness of sin or shame, it brings peace and security.

So don’t get easily entangled in the word “love” being thrown around when you date and court someone. Consider the actions of love behind what they say. Are they covering up lust by calling it love? Or are they genuinely seeking to cover you and bring you closer to Christ?

Run away from youthful lusts—pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace with those [believers] who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.2 Timothy 2:22

There’s so much to cover on this topic, but I wanted to briefly discuss what I noticed on the thin line between lust and love. Do you think there’s a thin line between lust and love? Share in your comments below.

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  1. Keisha

    This is a great post, and gives a clear understanding of the difference! 😇

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