By Tatianah Green
This post is part of A Conversation Piece Tour which I am excited to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers and love advocates. To learn more and to join us in spreading a message of better love communication, CLICK HERE!
Quick question that I'll give you some time to answer: what is something that you're fully committed to? And not in the non-tangible sense like committed to learning, being a better you, etc. I'm talking about physical things and relationships with people. It seems that many people of all generations have shifted their commitment to, well, commitment.
Divorce is so easy now and marriage is made out to be so hard. As a single it's discouraging to see people give up or end what was at first a covenant promise made between the couple and God. It had me wondering about commitment and if we as singles actually have what it takes to withstand in commitment in all seasons of marriage. It's one thing to be afraid of commitment, but do we even know what it looks like?
How are we practicing commitment today?
I've learned before that dating can pose a problem in terms of commitment. Many dating relationships that singles enter into as based off of emotions and not spiritual leading, lacking accountability and purpose. Once the relationship faces hard times or tough moment, no one is obligated to stay because the commitment level is not established on anything solid. Emotions are not solid enough to keep a relationship; love is more of a decision and action that involves commitment, acceptance, and steadfastness. So to say, many of these dating relationships are not really based on real love.
I believe that's why some, not all, of us are still single. Our commitment to things is not how God designed it to be. We're either burnt out from being committed because we did it the right way with the wrong person and it blew up in our face, or we didn't have a solid, godly example of commitment in our lives.
I know because I've been there.
I was in relationships with men based on mutual attraction, emotions, but there was no mature discussion about commitment. Now I knew to be loyal, but committed? Make me mad and I was about ready to chuck the deuce up. I was so quick to run away in my dating relationships (mentally, emotionally, physically) that it was setting me up for a bad habit in marriage: poor communication skills.
I had fear and pride in me that kept me thinking that I could just leave and not communicate my feelings; what would that look like in marriage? I understand now that disagreements will happen and you can get mad at each other, but it's best to persevere through and get understanding from one another by talking things out and not letting the situation get the best of the both of you.
When you’re committed to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you are willing to commit through the good and bad and communicate the right way in between. Take some time to learn about it from godly couples and those who know it firsthand like my sister in blogging Tiya Cunningham-Sumter. Her book, A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex, and Conflict, is for women to prepare for whatever comes in their committed relationship, present or future. From disagreements to opening up communication, this book covers a lot and I will be taking notes myself.
So, are you as committed as you think you are when it comes to love? Let it be with the one God ordains in your life and have the right preparation and tools to handle every season that will test your commitment from the day you say "I do."
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter decided to change the conversation and write a book about changing the way couples communicate by offering 32 bold relationship lessons. She knows this book has the power to change lives. You can grab your copy HERE.