By Tatianah Green
Ouch! Remember when you were little and got a scratch, scrape or "boo boo?" Mom or your caregiver came through with that peroxide or the stinging alcohol to clean your wounded area. Then most likely they put a fresh bandaid (adhesive bandage) on the affected area so that you could go back outside and play.
How many of us thought growing up that the bandaid was the part that did the healing? That under this magic beige strap our hurt would disappear. Even if you simply bumped something on your body you'd ask for a bandaid to "feel better" when all it was at that point was really a placebo. Today I want to highlight bandaid relationships; not be confused with bandaid conversations, which is a whole other post.
Bandaid relationships are what you get into to cover a void, hurt or lacking in your life. Generally bandaid relationships can be good and make you happy, and some relationships can bring a healing aspect to your life. However if you don't resolve to make your voids, hurts and pains known to God, the bandaid can only do so much.
A bandage covers a wound and keeps it from infection. However a bandage or bandaid can get dirty, wet, lose its adhesive, etc. leaving you at risk for infection. And we thought that the bandaid was to do all the healing when it had the potential to make things worse? Having a relationship to avoid being hurt when you haven’t addressed the hurt within you can infect your relationship. Matter fact, depending on your wound and how deep it is you may have to keep switching bandaids. Do you know anyone like this? They're serial daters, or always in a relationship looking for love or to get over the last one with something new or fresh. But here's the thing: the wounds haven't properly healed in their heart yet.
You eventually need to go without just any “bandage” to start healing in better time. With the right cleansing agents and care you can prevent an infection. This means that you will need to take the proper steps to care for your internal wounds (emotionally, mentally, and spiritually). Cleansing with prayer, soothing by speaking life over yourself and your situation, and letting time pass. This includes letting the Lord be the mender of your broken heart, His love is the perfect bandage. In Christ do we have wholeness (Colossians 2:9-10) so it's just a matter of taking all the feelings and thoughts you have about yourself and love and lay it at His feet.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” –Psalm 147:3, Hallelujah!Now for the folks who want a bandaid with no wound per say, take a moment to ask yourself why do you want a relationship. Are you bored? Are you lonely? Does everyone else around you have a boo or a spouse? A relationship does not necessarily relieve those symptoms of dissatisfaction. You can pick anyone just to be in a relationship and go on dates but you can still get bored, feel lonely, and compare your status to others. It's all a matter of where your mindset is and what's in your heart, both in which our Holy Father is more than able to address.
Many have said that if you're not happy now being single then you won't be happy in a relationship or married. Happiness is a fleeting emotion anyway, we want to be pursuing God because in His presence there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11). Also one of the Fruits of the Spirit is joy, so you get it from God and then give it to others.
Having a mature understanding of the purpose of dating, courting and marriage may alert you that you may not be ready for all of that after all. And that’s okay to not be ready. It’s better that you work on yourself with God’s instruction instead of learning the hard way through decisions made based on your feelings.