November 25, 2015

That #ThanksgivingWhileSingle Pep Post

By Tatianah Green

It’s that time of year again to gather with family and celebrate what you are thankful for and of course partake in some delicious dishes. 

If you are single as in not dating, or it’s too early to bring a new prospect around to meet family, you may very well get asked about your relationship status or love life:

“When are you getting married?”

“When are you gonna give me some grandbabies?!” (My mom’s personal favorite)

“What happened to that girl/guy you was seeing?”

“I know someone at___ that you should meet…”

“You ever thought about getting back with (____)? Y’all were cute together.”

These are just some of perhaps many annoying questions that singles will get this week and well into the New Year. Here are a few options to either respond or do Thanksgiving on your own terms because you can.

#ThanksgivingClapback! Y’all, I love Twitter’s ease of use and that you can access so much content at one time. This hashtag has trended over the past 24 hours and folks are really creative over these memes. While you may be very tempted to talk back, give a sarcastic comment, throw shade or whatever else you want to call it, be sure to hold your tongue.
“The mouth of the righteous is the fountain of life…” Proverbs 10:11
“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19
The clapback hashtag is for entertainment, so please don’t try this at your home. Holidays like Thanksgiving that bring the family together tend to be either peaceful or contentious, but I encourage you to keep your cool and protect your peace. Whether you’ve just got out of a relationship or been single for some time, everyone can ask and speculate about your love life, but don’t let them steal your joy.

#Friendsgiving is always an option. One of the many benefits of being single is that you can leave the family gathering whenever you want to. You can also create and practice new traditions like friendsgiving, which is a potluck gathering of friends at someone’s house. It’s popular among people without family in their town or who want to gather with like minded folks. You can host a friendsgiving get together this weekend where everyone brings a new dish or enough leftovers of a side to share, enjoy some fellowship and catch up on life. There are plenty of new movies out this weekend as well so you can meet up with your crew after the dinner is over or during the weekend.

#BeThankful. Responding in gratefulness and faith is a good way to deflate any borderline offensive attempts to kill your vibe at Thanksgiving dinner. If a loved one asked why you are still single or when you’re getting married, you can respond with something like “I may be single, but I’m thankful that I have my right mind, that I have peace, that I have time to ____, accomplish ____, grow in ____ characteristic, etc.” 

You can share that you’re thankful to be single because you’re finally allowing God to work on you and develop you into the wife or husband that you desire to be. Although we don’t necessarily like the wait at times, especially on family-centered holidays, you’ll be grateful that you’re maturing in the Lord and when the time comes for a boo/spouse you will be better able to handle the next onset of questions with maturity and patience: marriage and/or kids!

Yes, it doesn’t stop. Even if you’re single and have a child/children already, you may have relatives who will ask if you will have more once you’re in a committed relationship or on the way to marriage. The questions will always come, so why get frustrated and lose your peace? Don’t take their prodding and poking so seriously and keep your responses focused on the Lord. Heather Lindsey shared some great advice in this area:

May you have a blessed Thanksgiving holiday and weekend! Feel free to share your #ThanksgivingWhileSingle stories with us on Twitter @BLISS_BCS!
"I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." -Philippians 4 MSG

November 17, 2015

#TransformationTuesday: Janet Jackson and the power of modesty

By Tatianah Green
Photo 1 source, Photo 2 source, Photo 3 source

I recently attended the Janet Jackson Unbreakable World tour as she stopped by for three sold out performances at the historic Chicago Theatre. What some may not have realized was that among the production, live band and talented dancers, she was covered totally from the neck down.

This is a FAR cry from what many of our parents and even ourselves have recognized the musical superstar as. The Janet I knew of in my teens always showed skin, ribbed abs and ample cleavage. Back then she used her image to show a form of sexiness as power, she still exudes power but with a new look. Now 49 and reportedly converted to Islam in respect to her husband's faith, Janet toned down her concert look dramatically from years past.

The point of this post is that while Janet is all covered up as some folks would say, it didn't stop her from doing what she is passionate about on the stage. She looked confident and in control of her show, all while being in what we'd call modest fashion. Ladies, that's inspiring to know that we don't have to show off our bodies or wear things we're not comfortable with wearing to get respect or attention. Despite spiritual differences, modesty is a statement of power. In terms of Christianity we have scriptures that express how women should dress and then we have legalism that tends to confine the woman's self expression. I asked Tiheasha Beasley, author and founder of One Modest Chick Coalition, to give her wisdom on what it means to have power in how you dress and carry yourself in modesty.

“I think that a woman who knows how to manage her body and wear clothing that is appropriate for her body type (curves and all), is truly the woman who has a beauty and confidence that this world cannot give her,” Tiheasha shared. The world often tells women that they're not attractive if they're all covered up. Sometimes modesty is misconstrued with being matronly, but layers are beautiful! Long garments are regal if fitted properly to the person’s height and frame. Baggy clothes are a stereotype attributed to modesty. In the photo above Janet is wearing harem pants as part of her tour wardrobe. Tiheasha’s picks for ladies to wear to express their confident while modest include a nice blazer, scarf, or tank top. All three pieces can go a long way in modest woman’s wardrobe. Check out her fashion sets on Facebook.
At the end of the day, we all know that this society will tell you that you are beautiful one day and not attractive the next. The world’s love for us is so conditional and it will leave you feeling empty every single time. So striving to live a more modest lifestyle is always more attractive and freeing in the end.” –Tiheasha Beasley

When it comes to modesty based on your beliefs or even respect for your future husband, Tiheasha shares that it is “respectable to uphold your religious standards, traditions and values. I also think that it is commendable to honor your husband by not revealing certain parts of your body to the world. However, at the end of the day, the decision to be modest in the way that you dress should be something you choose to do because you want to glorify God with this area of your life.” 

Via @OneModestChick
She adds that if you are choosing to be modest simply for religious traditions or just to please your husband, eventually if immodest behavior is in your heart, it will begin to show in other areas of your life as well. I don’t know if this is the case for Janet, but we as women of God are called to not focus on adorning ourselves with material things but to worship God by how we live, doing good as it is mentioned in 1 Timothy 2. What we have on the inside of us is what really makes us beautiful and powerful, all given by our Holy Father, so we can show the world that a woman is more than just her outward appearance. 

Currently One Modest Chick is promoting a “Pledge to be Dope Campaign,” where women can join and be a part of the modesty movement! You can find out more information here at, or follow the I Pledge to be Dope Blog Series at

November 9, 2015

Do the right thing: Integrity in singleness and relationships

By Tatianah Green

Photo by Tachina Lee
God has been laying out lessons in integrity for me lately. Within the past few days He has shown Himself to be the author of my life and teacher as He should. One example was on Friday when I was on my way to work. I crossed the street on a red light even though there were no cars. Because there was a crossing guard present she reminded me to not cross on the red lights. We all know that right? But hey, I was on my way to work and this light is taking too long. So with a nod of acknowledgement I went on my commute.

I soon realized that I left my phone at home and had to return to get it. Then it hit me: I had to go across the street again to start over on my commute journey. Heart checked I had to start over in a sense to do things the right way. 

Has this happened to you? Sometimes God allows us to be tried so He can produce good out of us like good character or integrity. 

This is a valuable lesson for relationships because some of us have repeated the same mistakes with the opposite sex because we didn’t go into that chapter or season correctly. Once the lesson is learned we can move on to another test and persevere with wisdom, so in essence it’s knowing better and then choosing to do better—remember that integrity is a choice.

Integrity is not just about you doing right so you can please the Father. They may never say anything to you, but some are legitimately watching you. Those kids at the streetlight have to obey the red light rule, so who am I to bend the rule especially in front of them? It would leave a bad example to them to follow that could get them hurt. You're setting an example for others around you and as a single this is an important thing to realize because you may have children or youth who you will look up to you. What will you show them?

"Those who walk uprightly enter into peace..." (Isaiah 57:2). There's a peace that comes from doing things right. When the Holy Spirit puts something on your heart to do it’s hard to let up. Maybe you second guess it (me sometimes) or you obey immediately. Have you ever felt some peace or feel good about showing a moment of integrity? 

Some examples of integrity are: being honest, apologizing first, accepting responsibility, walking/running away from temptation, taking time to respond in spirit and not in flesh. God is so patient with us, He will work on us one day at a time to develop our character to reflect Christ’s and to please Him.

Walking upright is not for so called perfect people. It's for people who choose that God is more important than their personal advantage. You may never get the acknowledgement or recognition from people but our Father in Heaven sees all and He notices it all. Great is your reward in Heaven anyway, so continue to do right even if it takes longer to get done or it leaves you walking on your own. 

We all desire to have a partner who is honest, has good character, who's not out here embarrassing you or causing you harm. What you practice in integrity today will be a blessing to your future spouse. They will praise God for a spouse that exudes integrity and draw them to want to do the same.

"He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones." Proverbs 2:7-8. Let God show you the areas in your life where you may need more integrity. Even in the smallest, minute things God desires for us to sow seeds of integrity today to reap the same tomorrow or in the future.
"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature/flesh, from that sinful nature/flesh will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary not doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:7-9

November 3, 2015

Who are your favorite Christian vloggers?

By Lynnette Easter

Vlogging (video blogging) is widespread and a vast number of people from different ethnic backgrounds and various age groups have taken social media sites like YouTube by storm. It is amazing to see how engaging and accepting this platform has become within our society, and if we add Christianity in the mix, we get Christian vlogging channels? 

The Bible specifically gives Christians instructions in the first part of Romans 12:2: “And be not conformed to this world," so why do Christians tend to copy everything the world does?

The Christian world consists of Church and church ministries: missionary work and outreach programs, just to name a few. Yes, that verse is correct but it is not instructing Christians to be placed in a bubble and live a limited life. If that were the case, the Scriptures would not instruct us in Mark 16:15 to "go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."
"Limiting how the gospel should be presented is not beneficial and goes against Christ’s instructions for believers to spread the gospel." 

Life is too short to pass up divine appointed opportunities just because in some Christians’ eyes a certain method of witnessing is “non-traditional.” 
Christianity and vlogging is a powerful force. Both unsaved and saved viewers lives can be affected and changed for the better. For the unsaved, souls can become saved; believers can receive encouragement and spiritual reinforcement during difficult situations. Life can become overwhelming for all of us at some point but for the Christian, God is the source and answer to every trial.

Sometimes, when faced with difficult situations that are not changing and we ask: where is God? I watched a vlogger’s channel that dealt with a topic on whether or not God hears our prayers. The vlogger Gigi didn’t speak in a condescending manner while sharing biblical principles and examples. By the time I finished watching the vlog, I was encouraged; my heart had been uplifted and I was motivated to continue to keep the faith.

Christians must be cognizant of how God is categorized within our very own lives. We must refuse to allow society and other Christians to dictate how we can be used by God. Social Media has many faces and Gigi is taking the opportunity that God has presented to her through vlogging to spread the gospel. Her channel is a platform to encourage, uplift, and empower every viewer from a biblical point of view. Be sure to view and subscribe to her channel: Friends with Gigi

Who are some of your favorite vloggers? Share with us in the comments below or on Twitter at @BLISS_BCS

Lynnette Easter is a new contributor for B.L.I.S.S.! She uses the gifts of writing and editing for her church’s newsletter and has been doing so for the past three years. Also, she desires to use her talents outside of her church’s ministry she intends to continue to write for the B.L.I.S.S. as long as they desire to use her. Lynnette resides in Washington, D.C. and is the mother of a college-aged son. Feel free to follow her on Twitter @Lynnette_Easter.

October 29, 2015

Panel: "How do I know I'm dating the right person?"

By Tatianah Green

I'm honored to announce that again I'll be a part of a panel on love relationships alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ as part of this great two-day conference that's coming to the Chicago area on November 20-21, 2015. The panel will be Friday night, see schedule below for what else the conference will offer!

The Becoming a Better YOU Conference is hosted in part by Isaac and Ericka Larrieu Davis, founder and President of Joyful About You Ministries. I interviewed my friend Ericka after the release of her first book, "Let's Break Religion."

You don't want to miss this FREE event!
See the details below and REGISTER HERE!

"Becoming A Better YOU Conference is geared to becoming and birthing all that God has called you to be and accomplish. Our prayers is that this would not just be another gathering but a life changing conference that will effect the rest of your life forever!"

"We have dynamic spirit filled, God led people that will be delivering the Word of God and countless opportunities to soak in the very presence of God. Our focus is to encourage and usher people into a place in Jesus, that will help position them to have a fruitful and accomplished life. Now is the time to be all that God has called you to be!"

"We declare over you...No more confusion! No more lack! No more depression! No more sickness! No more Weariness! No more stressing!"

"This is your time for wholeness! In order to run this race ahead we must have clear direction and clarity. "'But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.'" -Isaiah 40:31. 
God has more in you and is calling you to be a better YOU!


Friday, November 20, 2015 | Registration Starts at 3 p.m.
  • Part 1: "Discovering your purpose" 
  • Part 2: "Cultivating & maintaining your purpose" 
  • Break 
  • Relationship Panel for singles & married couples*
    Hot topics: How do I know I'm dating the right person?
    Do I stay if he/she cheated?
    And so much more...
Saturday, November 21, 2015 
  • Early Morning Prayer: 5-6:30 a.m. 
  • Afternoon Service: 1 p.m. 
  • Break and 1-on-1 Prophetic Counseling: 3:30-6 p.m.
  • Dinner Break
  • Evening Service (Healing & Miracle Service): 7-9:30 p.m. 
Hope you can make it! 

October 27, 2015

"Purpose in this place": 3 characteristics of a successful single

By Tatianah Green

You know what’s interesting? I normally see a lot of posts on how to have a successful date and definitely marriage, but how often do you see posts about being a successful single? I mean, single is kind of broad because not everyone will be married or will want to be married. And not everyone who’s single wants to be single for long. 

So it all leads me to ask: What counts for success in singleness? To some it's someone who has “made it out” and become married. For some it's someone who maintained who they are in Christ as a single. I don’t have all the answers, but I would like to make a few notes based off what I’ve learned in the past week.

Purpose. Do you feel like life won't start until you're married or in a relationship? Just because you're single doesn't mean you don’t have a divine purpose or assignment attached to your status right now. Serving the Lord through obedience and being diligent in your assignment pleases God. The Father  is the author of our lives and finisher of our faith; He knows exactly what He’s doing when He places us in our single season: 
“Only, let each one live the life which the Lord has assigned him, and to which God has called him [for each person is unique and is accountable for his choices and conduct, let him walk in this way].1 Corinthians 7:17 AMP
And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.1 Cor. 7:17 MSG
When He allows you to be in a season, it's all for a purpose and His glory. Complaining about it won't help it pass, but praying for peace and revelation of purpose is crucial to being successful in your single season. You have lessons to learn, people to impact, and things to go through to be the person of integrity that God made you to be and keeping His commands, which are separate from your status (1 Corinthians 7:19). 

Intention. Single includes those who are in their dating season. The dating/courting season is a challenge because it’s not just you anymore—you have to be aware of the person you’re interested in and maintain being a successful single in these sensitive relationships. I sat in on a message that DeVon Franklin was preaching and he gave some advice to the singles in the service: 

When singles date, we must do so with intention and have good intentions with one another. DeVon mentioned that singles need to have the right intentions when they date. Regarding choosing to date someone with intention: “I dare you to pray before you answer or make the call to someone you're interested in…You gotta posses the land but have to have the intention (plan, aim, purpose) to do it." This I'll attribute back to the 1 Corinthians scripture because if you're single and dating acting like you're married, you're not operating where God has you right now, which leads to problems. Take your time and let the Lord advance you.

No coincidence that the definition of successful is “accomplishing an aim or purpose.” It will take step by step, but if you operate in your single and dating seasons with godly purpose, you will be successful! “Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs 16:3 NLT).

"I’d rather you be alone than in a situation that works against the destination and call on your life, or with someone who's out to destroy everything that God has for you,” said DeVon. He made a point that it’s okay to be alone because that’s when God can get to you with revelation and less distractions in the way. Being solo has its benefits; keeping that in mind will help you live successfully as a single. 

Honesty. Trust that I don't have it all together in my single season. Wrapping up a fast, I feel like it's been more beneficial to be honest about how I feel than try to hide it. God wants us to go to Him first, and He will often times provide people who know you enough that you can be honest with about what's going on. Singles go through a lot of emotions including loneliness, insecurity, doubt, etc. But we can also be carefree, a little selfish, daring, and spontaneous.

Other seasons in life can't afford much of those attributes because of greater responsibilities. Being honest about how you feel as a single and what it means to you to be single in this season is part of the foundation for success. Also, being honest about your journey can help others in their own walks in singleness, which I addressed before in: "What your process means to someone else." 

A successful single is someone who knows who they are in God and where they are in their single season, even if they don’t know the whole timeline. They have the faith, which is the substance of things hoped for, evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).  

You have a purpose in this place. Don't second guess it, just Trust God and let Him use you in ways that you didn't imagine. We need our singles to be whole and on fire for God, not moping around and setting for less in life because they let some doubts creep in. You can and will be successful because God’s promise is true: “In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will,” Ephesians 1:11 NIV.

October 22, 2015

Love is not control: Terry Crews on relationships, porn addiction, and men's transparency

By Tatianah Green

Terry and Rebecca Crews (Source)
Actor and host Terry Crews called porn addiction a “cult of masculinity” when describing his former battle in an interview on Huffington Post Live this week. While he was on the program to chat about his shows on TV, he didn’t mind getting transparent answering personal questions about depression and other things that guys have a hard time expressing. Ladies, in order to best help our men, we have to understand where they are coming from. Here are some notes from the interview:

“You cannot love someone and control them at the same time.” –Terry Crews

Media sister Dr. Renee Matthews asked Terry for the key to his and his wife Rebecca’s longevity in their 19+ years of marriage. “All attempts to control your significant other are going to lead to heartbreak because love is freedom,” Crews shared. “If I restricted her in any way—that’s not love, but if she comes in the door because she wants to, that’s love…when she says ‘hey let’s go out’ because she wants to be with me, and that’s the same thing I do with her.”

Manipulation in relationships can come from a place within of insecurity and control. Men and women both can be like this, and Crews shared how to get out of the destructive behavior: “We’re all guilty of it…the thing is you have to recognize it and cut it out as soon as you see it. [Ask yourself] Is it control or is it love?” As it says in 1 Corinthians 13, love is not self-seeking, not easily angered, rejoices in truth, always trusts and much more. If you have a controlling nature, there may be some underlying trust issues that need to be addressed and dealt with by God.

Terry also overcame his addiction to pornography which almost destroyed his marriage. “It’s a belief system. When you believe as a man that you are more valuable than your wife and kids, it allows something like pornography into your life because you feel like you deserve it… My life had to change once my beliefs changed,” Crews shared. The Bible tells us that sexual sin is sin committed against oneself. If we love ourselves we would not put ourselves in the grasp of sexual sin to be enslaved. Jesus Christ came so that we would be made free of our addictions and enslavement, renewing our minds and living in righteousness, whether single or married.

“When you’re talking about love, porn does not exist in the world of love...”

“Pornography is using people as objects and treating people wrong; you’re looking at them as objects to be used and that affects how you interact with people in real life in terms of if you can control or manipulate them.” Terry was open about his addiction and the reasoning behind it and I believe he was able to be so open was because he went through a process of deliverance. Once that secret sin is exposed to the light, it loses its power to keep you bound. 

Actor Terry Crews

“There’s lust and there’s love and they’re total opposite. I had to go through rehab and get deprogrammed from this cult of masculinity and get led into a better way.” The cult of masculinity reference is to the fact that more men indulge in pornography than women and they do so as an escape. Oftentimes this is a major void-filler for men who feel inadequate, lonely, etc. and it gives them an unhealthy view of sexual intimacy and connection with a woman. Thankfully Terry was able to be transparent about this to help some brothers out here to pull the plug on porn in their lives for good.

“Every man has a desire for intimacy and intimacy is someone to know you and love you at the same time. There’s that moment that men think that if someone found out who they really were, they wouldn’t be there.” That is a real transparent statement on behalf of men that Terry shared. It reminds me of King David, who though he had many amazing accomplishments, had some terrible things within him that he confessed to God. And that’s what I believe is the key here: having true intimacy with God and surrendering your all, including your failings.

Ladies, your future husband won’t be perfect, but to know him and love him with an agape love is one of the best things you can do for him as his wife. We all desire to be loved and accepted for who we are, which will better allow us to be open about our true feelings, failings, and secrets so that we can support one another in love.

Check out more of Terry Crews’ interview on HuffPo Live here. For more resources on winning the battle of porn addiction, visit the God Over Porn ministry at "God Over Porn is reaching those bound by sexual sin and pornography addiction through the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

Milestone: This  marks the 400th published post on B.L.I.S.S.! Follow me on Periscope for blog recaps on Saturdays at @TforTrendsetta