Written by Bob Wheatley
I used to think that singleness was a problem to solve.
The sooner I could “fix it” by finding the right person, the sooner I could move on with my life. I didn’t view singleness as a gift or an opportunity. I saw it as a delay. A disappointment. Maybe even a punishment.
But God sees our seasons of singleness differently, doesn’t He?
Over time, God began to challenge my thinking through the pages of Scripture—and specifically through the words of the apostle Paul.
Paul’s Surprising Advice
In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul wrote something so countercultural, so provocative, that I was actually offended when I read it the first time. He says:
“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am … I want you to be free from anxieties.” —1 Corinthians 7:8, 32 (ESV)
At first, I couldn’t stomach that advice. Be single … on purpose?
How could anyone genuinely want that?
I had long believed that life would become truly meaningful only after marriage. That the path to fun, joy, peace, and love required a spouse at my side. But then, Paul presented an alternative route. He provided a shift in my thinking, a gentle correction, and words that I genuinely wrestled with.
Could it be that my singleness is an advantage?
The Blessings of Singleness
When I stopped resisting my singleness and started exploring it, everything changed for me. No, the ache didn’t fully disappear, but it was joined by something far more powerful: purpose.
Here are just a few things I’ve learned to treasure in this season:
- Singleness creates space for deeper intimacy with God.
Without the natural distractions that come from marriage or parenting, I’ve had more space to pursue Jesus with an undivided heart.
- Singleness allows for personal discovery.
When you’re single, your calendar is more flexible. Your priorities are more open. You have the ability to listen for God’s voice without coordinating with others. This is the season to ask big questions: What are my gifts? Who am I most burdened to serve? What has God prepared in advance for me to do (Ephesians 2:10)?
- Singleness shapes character through trial and surrender.
God often does His deepest work in the wilderness. Scripture tells us that even Jesus “learned obedience through what He suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). In singleness, God invites us to release control, give up our timelines, and trust Him more than we trust our desires.
An Encouragement for Singles
Too often, Christian culture treats singleness like it’s the prelude to “real life.” But if you are in Christ, your life has already begun—right now. God is not withholding. He’s investing. He’s refining. He’s offering you something sacred.
So, what would it look like if you stopped waiting, and started living, right now? What if you lived this season not as a placeholder, but as a divine appointment?
What if singleness isn’t a delay, but a design?
If you’re wrestling in this season, know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there. I still am there! And while the questions don’t always disappear, I can promise you this: God is faithful to complete the work He began.
So lean in, trust His timing, and walk boldly in the gift of today. There is purpose and strength in your season of singleness.
