One topic that often gets debated in the singles/dating/marriage discussions is how one meets their spouse and if that how is “appropriate” based on Biblical and societal standards. While some people prefer the more common ways of meeting people in person, others may be more adventurous and seek or seek to be found on dating apps and sites. One may ask, is there a one right way to meet your future spouse?
Most of us would say no, because we know people who are together or married who met in interesting circumstances. Rarely is it like in the movies with a “meet cute” moment like two attractive people reaching for the same cup of coffee at Starbucks and touch hands…I mean, that would be romantic, but how realistic is that?
We can’t fit our love lives into a timeline or a box, especially if God didn’t give them to us.
That’s what brings me to this blog’s discussion: how we will meet our future spouse will be unique to us. What works for someone else may not work for you and that’s okay. You may sense this tension when you see other people in your circle in relationships or getting married. It’s as if by association you should be with someone great too. But perhaps your love story is different in terms of the how. Here are at least a few ways to consider:
What do you believe God said to you
I was reminded recently about my prayer journal entries about God sending my spouse. If I believe what God said to me and through others about how I will meet my spouse, then I don’t have to go looking for him. If I were to get impatient and not believe God then I would be going out of my way to find a man or force situations to happen. Been there, done that.
If you have a word from God or trust what He has instructed you to do regarding your future spouse, pray and prepare. Going out of His will to find or be found would be wasting our time and efforts. If it feels like God’s plan for your love life to unfold is taking too long, consider this wait is going to be worth it. Has Him making you wait before every been in vain? 😉
What do you believe God will do for you
I was blessed by Catherine Howze‘s testimony on meeting her husband Carl. It speaks to the point that we can share our desires with God and He in His sovereignty will bless us how He sees best for us specifically. Read her testimony for more insight:
“Before I met my husband, I wasn’t in places where I could easily be found lol. I pretty much just worked, went home, and went to church. I was often told you need to get yourself out there so you can get yourself a man. I wasn’t trying to get a man because I knew that God would bring me His best when the time was right and He didn’t need my help in doing so. It wasn’t easy waiting when I didn’t know how or when, but I trusted Him.”
“I wanted a man of God and would casually pray for divine connections among other things but I never knew that one divine connection with a lady in a different state that I didn’t even know and didn’t know me would one day lead me to my divine gift from God; my now husband! That one encounter changed the trajectory of my life for the better. I am forever grateful God connected my husband @carlishowze and I for His purpose and glory. He truly makes me better and I can’t imagine my life without him.”
“I’ve learned that when it’s God’s will to bring 2 people together for His glory He will use whomever or whatever to bring them together and no devil in hell can break them apart. You don’t have to put yourself out there or do anything special, but be yourself to be found by a man. God will give him eyes to see YOU and He will fall in love with the God in you. Remember that, ‘He who FINDS a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22a).'”
Are you really open to the possibilities
From Facebook releasing their dating feature to singles meeting at live events and conferences, are you really open to how you will meet your spouse, or does it matter to you in some way?
If you meet your spouse in an online platform it shouldn’t be any less significant or respectable than someone who met their spouse through a friend or at church. Are you open to initiating conversation with a potential partner or trying something outside your weekly routines? However and whoever you meet, make sure you are ready (whole, content, discerning) for what is to come, Lord willing.
