To all the Black girls who’ve felt rejected by Michael B. Jordan

Michael B. Jordan (MBJ) is young, fit, successful, melanated and is living his best life right now in the wake of his latest films, doing it up in Italy with a rumored boo on every turn. His DMs are lit and he’s one of the more attractive actors of our generation. Right now he seems to be happy doing him. I genuinely want that too, but I’m not blind by the pattern of the significant number of BM celebrities who date/marry outside of their race.

This post is for all the ladies who wanted to be on that boat in Italy.

For some context, I’m sharing this video by Empressive on the fan backlash that Michael B. Jordan has received:

I’ve had heard many debates on this about why Black women are so loyal to Black men in choosing them to date and marry, when Black men don’t return the same favor at the same capacity as we do. Listen, regular, non celebrity Black men still marry Black women more than any other group, but their preferences are not as strictly Black like their female counterparts.

Michael B. Jordan is a modern example of this theory because he’s a well known Black man who himself has even talked about rumors that he doesn’t “date Black women.” Then there’s also this point about him pandering to his Black female fanbase with “love and support” but not loving Black women by dating them. Here’s what a commenter had to say on this: “It isn’t even about looks plain and simple dating white women is seen as a status symbol…you haven’t made it until you date a white woman. Sad we can’t see value in our own people.”

What any lady needs to keep in mind is her identity and authority as a child of God.

It’s also in our benefit to not try to claim men as our own before they intentionally make us their own. I’ve been there before, celebrity crushes are a thing and I’ve had a few. However, no man has been my Man Crush Monday. That space is set apart for my future husband. All this celebrity obsession and worship is also striving and can get into the idolatry territory, which I’ve discussed here before.

As many have said in regards to MBJ, it’s time to let that day dream die, y’all. Some of us take making a celebrity a boo in our heads a joke, and others take it seriously, to the point that we’re emotionally wrecked that he’s not dating someone who looks like us. Don’t miss your own blessings with these distractions.

Walk with me on this point because I don’t know if we think about this often. MBJ and men like him who are successful, are choosing to live their lives in a way that is carefree and exploring their options. And many of the Black girls and women who admire these men get upset when they see them out and about with women who don’t look like them. I get that. But what exactly are these men doing with these multiple women? And better yet, why would you want to be in that number?

As much as we (women in general) don’t want to be treated like a notch on someone’s belt or objectified for our beauty and bodies, we may ease up on our standards for the right wrong kind of dude. This includes men who have no desire to marry you, but don’t mind playing the field with you included. I thought we wanted better for ourselves…?

So when I see MBJ or any other guy with multiple kinds of women I see a man who’s not ready to commit, and that’s okay. Please tell me up front with your actions what you’re about and I’ll take it from there. Ladies, you are not a playboy’s play thing of the week, you are some blessed man’s wife! Why get mad because he’s out playing the field with women who don’t look like you? Do you want him to date multiple Black women with no commitments? Because that’s what the comments sound like underneath the initial “offense” that his/their date isn’t Black.

Dare I say he’s doing us a favor by not having us out here like that, because Black women, like all other women too, deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. We have to hold ourselves up in that too though.

We have to be willing to let them go ‘head and do their thing while we respect ourselves and give attention to men who will commit to us. Those committed guys are out here, don’t be mistaken just because it looks scarce.

In my opinion, MBJ can date whoever he wants to, that’s his prerogative. What matters more to me it’s who he marries (for his sake). That’s real commitment, that’s foundation, that’s legacy building. Let’s pray he is wise with his choices. Marriage is a covenant and sets the tone for the next generation after that person. If Michael switches it up and marries a Black woman I would feel like a proud cousin, lol. But even if he doesn’t, this author is going to continue to live her own life, do you hear me? Which leads to this last point:

Go where the love is

I heard this quote from Sophia A. Nelson on the topic of interracial dating and marriage before. This can also be applied to staying in your lane and not having unrealistic expectations about the opposite sex. We are talking about a whole generation of women who have been exposed to Disney Princess culture that want Prince charming, a fantasy guy essentially.

There’s only one of him and a million of us, so what are we going to do? Work on our best selves, come into our personal identity and date with purpose those who compliment our purpose, not our ideal image of what our man should look like.

Another reality is that our population is in the process of transition. In 20 years America will be a lot more multiracial than ever before, meaning that our options for dating outside of our race for love should not be closed off.

I know this site is partly about Black Love, but not every Black person who wants to marry or will marry is going to have a Black spouse. We gotta learn to love ourselves and be open to who God has for us, regardless of their skin tone or racial makeup.

I want you to know that you’re chosen, you’re a winner, you’re beloved and appreciated. You don’t have to earn it or look/act like something you’re not, all you have to do is be who God created you to be.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Share below!