Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles
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Relationship with God

To be honest: I don’t want God to send me my husband yet

Post by Lynnette Easter

Happy New Year! Excitement reeled as gratitude filled my heart for the new year God granted us. The thought of entering a year fresh and anew with an opportunity to do things differently, placed a smile on my face. As I began reading my post from December on love, a thought entered my mind that caused me to stop reading all together. The thought was: Okay, you penned this post on love, now what are you going to do if I bring you your husband-to-be to in 2018?

Navigating through fluctuating emotional changes and mindsets during this journey of singleness is a story in itself. My non-verbal response was: I DO NOT want You to send him to me in 2018. I have come to embrace my ‘Season of Single’ as my safe haven. My facial expression displayed how unsettled and shocked I was as thoughts frantically ran through my mind. The Holy Spirit has a way of snatching us up, even when we follow His leading. It was easy for me to pen the post on love last month. The Spirit placed the topic on my heart; however, I decided it did not pertain to me.

In my mind, I see God sending my husband-to-be after He has healed me of the physical challenges I’ve been facing for almost seven years now. The goals, dreams and aspirations that I am working on, God will have brought them to fruition. Pain and hurt from the past, God will have eradicated from my heart. All of these things will take God years to do. Now is just not feasible, are my thoughts. It was that moment, the innermost part of my heart was front and center.

The part that finds it hard to fathom God sending me my king; he would alter his life, love me in my current physical state and marry me. As a matter of fact, I do not want God to send him to me in my current state.

Is it my pride? Is it because I feel weak? Is it because it will cause me to become vulnerable with someone other than myself? Yes, to all of the above. This is the innermost part of my heart I steer away from and won’t lay before God frequently or on a daily basis because whenever I do, I become emotional. This innermost part of my heart harbors pain and hurt that arises at times when a gentle breeze welcomes me as I open my door or a specific scent fills the air as I walk outside or I witness someone performing a simple kind gesture. This innermost part of my heart is where my insecurities and pain reside, what I so desperately want God to heal. Are you ready to start your healing process? Join the #BreakTheCycle Challenge here

This is the place that requires God’s healing process and my willingness to continuously face every painful area God addresses, knowing that my healing solely lies in His process.

The difficult part for me is trusting and believing that God can bless beautifully without removing my physical thorn. One of the things I need to do this year is ask God to show me how to focus on what He can do with the ‘in-the-midst of’ and ‘in-spite-of’ aspects of my life.

“And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.” John 14:13-14

What will your response be if the Spirit of God asks you: ‘What are you going to do if I bring (Input what you are trusting God for) to you in 2018? Do you hold any hidden stipulations?

Welcome 2018, the overflow of blessings and opportunities God has in store for us within this new year. Our slates are clean as the beginning of our storyline begins now. All of our encounters in 2017 reside there as we embark upon a newly uncharted journey. We claim that our journey will be prosperous and fulfilling, In Jesus Name.

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