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Relationship with God

How to recognize real love in 2018

By Lynnette Easter

Love, a four letter word with much power; yet it holds various meanings according to each individual you may ask…the wrong version of love that you experienced should not be allowed to have any part of your life; its presence is holding your life hostage. God’s Holy Spirit will never steer you wrong; God’s Word is the perfect handbook that covers every question you need answered, even on what love is and what it’s not:

Love is not a means to manipulate others

Some use the word love and the phrase “I Love You” flippantly in order to ensure they obtain personal gain from another. This in turn creates an aftermath for the person who was affected in a negative manner. If the affected party is not careful, he or she may find themselves believing that love is non-existent.

One person should never be given the power to gauge how you view love.

The person who anxiously waits to hear the words “I Love You” may never hear them from the person they wish would say it. As a result, this may bring about a mixture of emotions within the person longing to hear those words of affirmation.

Do not become bitter and disheartened but cautiously evaluate your thought process. Address and work through your emotions as you deal with not receiving those words of affirmation. God is the healing source; go to Him. This next statement may not be reassuring but it stands true: it is better to not hear the words “I Love You” than to hear them and discover the person who uttered them to you never meant it.

Love is not fiction

Has a painful relationship that changed your definition and standard of love? You may notice that you have fallen victim to your own perceptions of love. As you remove your blinders you will be able to pinpoint its derivative.

Lingering effects from a hurtful relationship can create a culmination of “Fact and Fiction” in your life. Stating that you experienced hurt from a painful relationship is factual. Refusing to release your hurt is not good for your health. Adamantly believing you will experience the same past situation yet again at the hands of someone new is fiction.

The person from your past and the person new are not one in the same. What you must acknowledge is this: you are not ready for a relationship yet. You are not a failure. Take care of yourself. Christ needs to heal every area of your heart and soul. Take the appropriate measures needed to ensure Christ heals you and steer clear from relationships until God says so.

Love is not just an emotion

When describing love, oftentimes it is associated with a feeling; an emotion that overpowers the thought process while overshadowing one’s intuition. At times words cannot describe the fullness that exists from an overflow of emotions connecting your heart to the person’s heart you love. You cannot fathom your life without that person.

Relationships will be confusingly out-of-sync when it is self-ordained, self-orchestrated and self-driven.

Emotions and feelings fluctuate continually; unforeseen circumstances arise continually and as time goes by something occurs that causes a shift. How the situation is handled determines the direction in which the shifting will take place. If you allow these things to be the justifiable means that dictates how you extend and receive love, you are loving on a temporal basis.

Love is not earned

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

Perhaps love was shown to you based on your performance and has caused you to believe that this is how love operates. Maybe you feel the need to perform acts with hopes of obtaining God’s love. You seek God’s Love for you in His answer(s) to your request(s). If the answer is either “wait” or “no,” you question the validity of God’s love for you. Please understand: God’s love is not performance based; therefore, you never have to perform to gain God’s love. God loves freely; it’s permanently given to all who receive it.

“Nor height nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:39

Maybe you are inadvertently performing effortlessly with the intent of maintaining your relationship, while seeking to obtain love from your mate. None of us have done anything to obtain love from God yet He loves us unconditionally. You cannot force someone to love you. So, the question on the table is this—why are you trying to earn love?

Love is…

God’s love is permanent; the catalyst of unconditional love and true definition of love. When you choose God’s love and become a Christian, you inherit His unconditional love on a permanent basis. You are the deciding factor as to whether or not love will exist in your life. This will only take place through open communication and dialogue with God; you must have a relationship with Him.

You are the deciding factor as to whether or not love will exist in your life. Click To Tweet

As 2017 comes to a close, make the decision to start the New Year by trusting God. God crafted you in love and values everything about you. However, you will never experience any of this should you choose to stand in your own way. God holds your best in the palms of His hands; allow Him to release it to you. Then, receive His blessings knowing that He loves BIG.

“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us…” Ephesians 3:20

Join the discussion

  1. Ta’lor

    This is absolutely amazing! As a new single mom who is reconnecting with her baby’s father, I am trying to not repeat old and negative habits and focussing on God is key! Thank you for this!

  2. Marliceia

    This is so good and it is the exact stance I’m taking in 2018. Long gone are the days of trying to make love happen. The next time, it will be God ordained.

  3. Tomi C

    Great insight. I’ve been married for 20 years and I can honestly say I’ve been happily married for 20 years. Love happens. Be open to it and that soul which longs for you will find you. Here’s wishing you a year of prosperity and grace. 2018 is our year to shine, shine, shine. ‪#BLMGirl

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